The African Woman Blog Series: Life of a Woman – EP 13

life of a woman

Life of a Woman series is a real-life experience of different Nigerian women who have found courage in sharing their stories across this platform, with the aim of inspiring other women into becoming better versions of themselves.

Let me officially welcome you to another inspiring weekly The African Woman Blog Series – TAWBS.

TAWBS is mainly to inspire you. Welcome!

The African Woman Blog Series: Life of a Woman – EP 13


As the popular saying goes, there’s really nothing new under the sun. My experience actually kind of explains that.

You see, when people call out for people that have suffered with a man in life in order to give them a certificate, I should be at the forefront. I married my husband years ago when he had nothing. In fact, eating one meal a day was an issue for us.

My husband couldn’t get a job so we had to depend on my 25k-a-month salary from where I was an office assistant. We both agreed not to start having children at the time at least till we were financially stabilized enough. But when people and families started talking after five years of marriage with no children, then we succumbed and had a little girl.

Hah, I suffered in my life. Almost everyone around me knew me to be a professional beggar. If I wasn’t asking for money to pay rent, I was asking for money to feed my baby.

The African Woman Blog Series: Life of a Woman – EP 13


One day, my husband came home singing saying that our suffering was over. He had met a man who took an interest in him as a son and had given him a job. In no time, our lives changed. Money started flowing in. We later moved to our own house that my husband bought. I had my very own car. And our suffering days looked like they never happened.

My daughter had turned 6 years, and for one reason or the other, we never had another child. Jide (not his real name) said he didn’t have the energy to nurture another child from the scratch. That we should just focus on creating a better life for ourselves. As he had vowed to me that the poverty situation was where he would never be again. So I accepted.

Jide had another property that he bought somewhere on the outskirt of Lekki where he normally spent a night or two if he wanted to have work meetings with his colleagues and the chairman of his company. It was our anniversary and Jide was going to be having work meetings with his chairman.

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So I thought, if the mountain couldn’t come to Mohammed, Mohammed would go to the mountain. So I had several meals prepared with a special gift and headed there. There were four cars in the compound, so I parked outside as instructed by the gateman. He let me in with a smile and directed me to the door.

The African Woman Blog Series: Life of a Woman – EP 13


I knocked for a while but no one opened for me so I decided to use my own key. Downstairs in the living room, I saw several bottles of alcohol on the floor and on the table. I wondered as I knew Jide wasn’t a drinker.

I heard a little loud music coming from the upper part of the house. So I headed there. The door to the master bedroom was slightly opened so I looked in. I saw the goriest pornographic scene of my life.

Four men having s#x with one another of which my husband was among them. I didn’t recognize the other two men. But I knew very well the person that was with Jide. It was the chairman that turned our lives around. It was obvious they were drunk as they were laughing, dancing and even switching partners to sleep with. At that point, I immediately decided it would be best if they didn’t see me. The music was still blasting so I ran quietly back downstairs.

I got home and I didn’t know where to pick up the issue from. I didn’t even know the question to ask. I became disgusted by his sight. So after a month, I called him and told him what I saw. His words were he had to do what needed to be done to put food on the table and made our lives comfortable.

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The African Woman Blog Series: Life of a Woman – EP 13


Chairman had met him and liked him. He had offered to make life easier for my husband only if he agreed to be with him. I told him I was going to leave if he didn’t stop. He said if I wanted to leave, I could but not to take with me anything that he got me with the money that he had been sex-slaving for.

I couldn’t stay in a marriage I was being blackmailed to stay in. Thank God, all through the years I had it good, I put some money away. I called a vehicle, packed all my stuff and left with my daughter. He was around when we were moving. He didn’t even look at us twice.

The only thing he said was that it was in my best interest to keep what I saw to myself.  It was sad that Jide could be that cold. But for me, all I needed to do was get away from Jide as soon as possible with my child.

It’s been 10 years now and thank God I took that decision. I established a little business for myself and I have been very comfortable o. Oluwaseun. My sister, some men are just not what they seem. Also, not all help is coming from a pure place o. But for Jide to just switch like that and start being who he was not initially, I’m still confused till today.


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