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6 Qualities to Consider When Choosing a Mentor/Mentee

A mentor or mentee is very important for any aspiring young person who has destinies lying on his or her shoulders. I remember how desperate I was in search of a mentor because I thought I needed such in some crucial decisions in my life. Fortunately, I had one and he was my first mentor. In the course of mentorship, I learnt a lot from him.

Are you surprised that my mentor was a male? Oh yes, he was a male and a young married godly man. Let’s not shift our focus. Mentorship helps you to be more focused, deliberate and productive in your pursuit of life goals and ambitions.

Although my mentorship with him was short but impactful. I wished it was longer but you know that sometimes in life, you may not have it all figured out. My mentorship duration was about six months. I would share with you some vital lessons I learnt during this stage.

As a Christian, you should choose your mentor or mentee based on godly values, not just by intelligence or physical attributes. Here are factors you should consider when choosing a mentor or mentee.


1. Godly

How godly are you as a prospective mentor? I believe in godly virtues because this is one aspect I really envy about my first mentor. As much as I am trying not to sound religious here, I think we cannot remove the God factor in whatever we do.

As a mentee, you need to put this factor into consideration when looking for a mentor.

2. Patience

Patience is a virtue that mentors need to lead their mentees. My mentor was quite a patient person. He would take his time to listen to my rants and hopes. Patience helps mentees to feel at ease whenever they are communicating with their mentors.

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3. Mutual respect

As a mentee, you need to respect your mentor and it should be mutual. Some mentors are humble and that shouldn’t be taken for granted. Humility and respect are two virtues that are rare to come by in today’s world.


4. Quality Time

Mentors should learn to create time and willingness to see their mentees grow and succeed in their goals. I had quality time with my mentor at the early weeks of our mentorship which I cherish. But personal responsibilities and commitments began to build a bridge between us which I perfectly understand. Having quality time builds a healthy relationship between both persons and aids a faster achievement.

5. Similar Vision

Both mentors and mentees should have similar visions. Having a shared value system helps create more commitment to each other’s goals. The mentee would have a lot to learn from.

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6. Slight Cons

It is important to know that as a mentee, your mentor is human and bound to make mistakes or fail from carrying out his or her promises of being committed to your personal goals. You need to understand that mentors are bound to make errors and even have the right to stop being your discipler or coach if they need to.


As a mentee, learn to understand when you have the signs that there should be a break, it may be due to some personal reasons that your mentor may not be comfortable with. Don’t forget that your mentor also has a mentor who is accountable to just as he or she is to you.

My mentor stopped mentoring me due to some personal reasons and more commitments on other things which didn’t allow him to create more time for me. I have not found another mentor since then. But I am trusting God for another soon.

In summary, the benefits of mentoring are more than what I have listed here. What experience do you have as a mentor or mentee? Kindly share in the comment section.

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